This could be a topic that many of us struggle with daily. It occurs in the work place, home and oftentimes with friends and family. It’s okay that you may want help people, because there are those who are genuinely nice and very caring individuals…right??? Well for the sake of this blog lets say we are and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem comes in when it becomes expected of you by others. Yes you can be a naturally caring person, but then that could turn into what most will always expect you to be and truth is naturally caring people get exhausted and overwhelmed too. This blog topic came to me based on a conversation that I had from a social media post.
I was made to feel as if it’s my duty to share information all the time, because some who may need it…may not know how to go about looking for the information they need for themselves. Although without doing research I wouldn’t know how to find the information that, I need for myself. So, is it really hard for some to do, or just really convenient for them to wait for others to do it? I would have to say that, I felt really uncomfortable that this person expected me to the the “yellow pages” of information, because it’s what I should do for others. Now, is that my personally normally??? Yes! I guess, I created this image. I truly don’t mind…that’s why I have a blog. But, I share information and just overall try to be a helpful person in general, because I do a lot of research about many different things often. However, I didn’t really appreciate that it’s looked at as being my job to be “that person” for others too. Remember I do things, because it’s what I choose to do. I don’t want to be told what, I should do.
Far too often people will forget how to be resourceful, because they’ve become comfortable and accustomed to waiting for others to provide them with the needed information…that they need for themselves. And of the several times you’ve helped them in the past the one time oh say no…they try to make you feel as if you’re wrong??? Again, there’s nothing wrong with being that “go to” person, but I feel there should be a limit to what you do for those who are capable of being resourceful for themselves. In an era of technology…the information is definitely out there and readily available for those individuals who truly want it. No one should feel obligated to do things, because this is what others have come to expect of you.
Being available for others, because you want to at your convenience is cool and that’s probably what you’ve always done, but when it’s out of what makes you feel like your obligated that changes how a resourceful person feels. At some point during all your kindness and efforts this should become a learning guide for others. Meaning that they pay attention or take the advice on “how to” obtain information, so when in the future they know how to get what they need for themselves. The fact that you’re suppose to share all of your resources/information with everyone all the time and there’s no appreciation that follows it can become draining to most individuals. Not only draining, but why is it that you can research things all the time…while others feel that it’s okay to wait for you to share your findings? It’s not okay and we all at some point will have to know how to be our own resource. This is how someone who overextends themselves eventually may begin to feel.
It’s okay to say no. At some point saying no is what has to happen. Is this something you’re use to doing? Maybe not, but is it necessary for you to do? Absolutely! Without setting or having limits things that make you feel drained will continue to do so. Knowing your limits is important, but knowing when and how to set your limits with others is the key. Of course continue to be you, but with more limitations. Point individuals into the right direction, but don’t do all of the looking for them…all the time. I hope this is helpful for some, because, it has been on my mind for a couple days now. I’ve been wondering if this happens to others and if so, what has been your solution to the problem?
For me, I had to say no. I would like for others to step up and do what I do a lot of and that’s researching and sharing information, or to make some helpful suggestions that they may know of…that I may not know about. It’s only fair that if it’s something others need for themselves that they at some point in time take the initiative to make things happen for them. There will come a time when all of us will have to step up to the plate, so stop denying certain individuals their rightful jobs. If you found this hopeful and informative please feel free to share and also follow me on IG @healthytipsbytee for other tips on life, health, and natural beauty tip/remedies.. Until next time…