Yes…it is possible! Being single is not a curse! I just wanted to get that out that way. What being single should be is that time when people begin to learn themselves. Always jumping from person to person isn’t healthy, or even feeling the need to be in a relationship. When are you having time to focus on self? Being in rushed relationships, because a person feels…I’m suppose to be in one is a disaster waiting to happen. If you haven’t put that needed focus into your own needs like what’ll make your life better…another person won’t be able to do it either. A person that you decide to be with should enhance your life and not be the center of it. When your happiness lays within the hands of others that’s a major power you’ve given them. So, if they decide to leave then what happens??? Does your happiness just disappear? Does your self worth and value go down? This is why it’s important to first and foremost love yourself unconditionally! Allowing someone to hold the key to your happiness could be detrimental to you…if and when that person decides to leave. Take the time while being single to truly understand what you want from yourself first, what you want in life and how being in a relationship will enhance all of those things. Here’s a few tips…
How Would This Relationship Enhance Your Life?
So, you want to be in a relationship right? But, do you know why? How will this person enhance my life? These are major questions that should be asked while considering being in a relationship. Is the need to be in one truly something you want, or are you feeling left out while friends and family members enjoy being with someone? Rushing into something just to be able to make a status is not a valid reason. Also, paying more attention to other people lives will usually send you in the wrong direction. The grass isn’t always as green as some like to pretend it is. Focusing on your life goals first and foremost and then once you have a clear vision and you’re on the path to achieving those needed goals…then maybe more time could be placed on that wanted relationship. Never get side tracked from your own goals and they should be bigger than being in a relationship.
Is He/She Looking for a Relationship?
I can’t empathize this enough, but both parties involved should be mutually invested in this relationship…if not, there is no relationship. You can’t and shouldn’t be the only one wanting to build someone and if you are trying to force it on them…this will only chase those individuals away. Have a clear understanding of exactly what the other person wants and it could be different from what you have in mind. If you learn this right off…there’s no need pursuing this individual. Trying to change a person’s mind is hard, so if you want different don’t waste a lot of time in a situation that you clearly know isn’t going anywhere. Some folks are so busy with life that they just want to date and not have anything serious. And that is okay and works for them. Find like minded individuals who feel that need to be in a relationship, so that you won’t be disappointed later. Not saying you guys will hit it right off, but at least they’re looking to settle down too!
Are You Truly Invested in This?
Often times we have a vision in our heads and visions are good…that’s where the planning starts, but a vision without a plan is a just a dream. Relationships take a lot of time to build and they are hard work! It’s no longer just about you. You now have to make time for that other individual who is involved in your life, and yes they may want to be involved in your life a lot. Are you able to give them that needed time that eventually they’ll demand from you? Again, these are questions that individuals should sit down and think about before that initial step is taken to a relationship. No need jumping right in without considering all aspects of what it’ll take to make it work and last keeping in mind that’s the goal. Make you sure you both are truly vested and ready to give it your all. It should never be one sided.
Are Our Lives Compatible?
Different careers may cause for individuals not fully being compatible for another individual. I remember taking a job when I was in my early 20’s and as if it just happened yesyerday, I still remember the hiring manager saying…”if you have a wife/husband/family person…then this is not the job for you!” And as he said that I’m thinking to myself what type of job wouldn’t allow you to enjoy loved ones? Oh and yes he was absolutely correct about that job being demanding! But, many people have demanding jobs/careers that often won’t allow them to be fully connected to others. Keeping in mind that not being available in a relationship is a major cause of breakups. That other person, or even you may not always be available when you or they may want that person to be. Keep in mind if being in a relationship would be selfish of you to start something you’re not 100% vested in, and how that might affect that other individual. Schedules might be conflicting and that could be overlooked sometimes, but for how long. We usually get into relationships, because we want to see that particular person often.
As usual I hope this reading was enlightening and gave a new perspective on relationships. I truly feel that being single is not a bad thing and depending on the direction in which you’re life is headed it could be a what’s needed for you to get to where your going. That’s not to say dating is off limits, but as long as individuals know there’s a complete difference between dating and being in a relationship.Which could be the reason why many opt to date longer than others. Until next time…